Love and Regrets
by neko-gayboy
Summary: Percico, smut warning, yaoi. This is my second fanfiction, don't expect it to be great but I would love feedback! EDIT: I tried to fix the whole paragraph issue, is it good now or should I break it up more?
1. Chapter 1

Nico regretted it. He regretted everything. But most of all he regretted that one day seven years ago when he had told his friend Grover that he could play with shadows. Ever since then there has been nothing in his life but more and more pain. Contemplating every wrong move and action he had ever made, they all came back to one thing. Percy Jackson. Nico lay in the forest that surrounded Camp Half-Blood, in a field he had found one day while taking his usual lonely walks. The late afternoon sunlight illuminated his dark and pale body against the green grass, making it seem like he was glowing. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he reveled in the warm sun on his skin. He knew he wouldn't tan but he still enjoyed the feeling it brought. Once again his mind drifted back to the boy who haunted his every thought and dream. He thought about how stupid it was; being in love for seven years. And he barely even knew the guy! That part was mostly his fault, considering the butterflies in his stomach were usually calmed by lashing out at his secret love. He sighed again. "Why do you have to be straight?" Muttering to himself, he didn't notice how eerily silent the forest had gotten. "Why do you have to be straight, and perfect, and so damn insistent on getting closer to me? I have nothing to offer except for a strange, unrequited love." Of all the things he was, the worst was being a gay teenager who had grown up knowing if he walked outside with another boy in his hand he would be beaten, or even killed. It was different now, but his mindset hadn't changed. Suddenly he noticed the silence, and tensed. Then, through the slight whispering of the trees, he heard footsteps. Not moving a muscle, the steps came closer until they were right behind him and the person they belonged to cast a shadow over him. "Those were some pretty big words, Neeks." The person chuckled nervously, and Nico nearly jumped out of his skin. Opening his eyes, he was met with the perfect face that went along with the perfect voice. "Percy…" Nico breathed, wanting to melt into the shadows. Unfortunately he had chosen the worst spot in the middle of the clearing. He shut his eyes again, more tightly this time. "What are you doing here? No one comes here." Nico groaned. "I…I was just going for a walk." Percy stuttered, obviously surprised that Nico wasn't being hostile with him. It wasn't that Nico wanted to be nice, it was just that he was tired of hiding. Sometimes he thought it would be better if everyone knew and hated him; if Percy hated him. "Thinking about stuff with Annabeth…" Percy continued, sitting down beside Nico now. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "So…you're gay?" He asked like he hadn't just overheard everything Nico had said. "Yeah." Nico spat, almost entirely angry with just himself. "So what, you gonna beat me up now or something? Scream at me and tell me how much of a faggot I am?" His scathing voice held a hint of weariness. Percy just gasped like this thought was obscene. "Nico I'm not going to do any of those things." He assured the younger boy softly. The younger one just scoffed. "Oh really? Because from my experience that's exactly what happens now." Yes, his voice was definitely tired. "Nico I…maybe I should tell you what I was thinking about Annabeth." Nico just thought about how much he didn't want to hear about Percy's stupid girlfriend. "I was thinking about how she and I aren't very compatible anymore." Now Nico's ears perked up at that. "Thinking back to when we first met…how I didn't even notice her until Aphrodite got involved. Back then, I've realized, the only person I ever looked at was Luke." Now Nico was definitely interested, but when he opened his eyes he saw Percy hanging his head in shame. "And now that everything seems to have faded well…I can't help but keep my eyes off of another boy." Groaning, Nico rolled over onto his side and voiced his thoughts before Percy could continue. "It's Jason, isn't it?" As much as Nico hated to admit it, the boy looked like a blonde superman. Not his type, but still attractive enough to appreciate. Also probably definitely not gay. Percy just chuckled at this. "No, not him. But was he who you were talking about?" Percy seemed almost sad to ask this question. Now it was Nico's turn to laugh quietly. "No, gods no. He's my best friend, in the loosest of terms." Now they both chuckled awkwardly, feeling slight tension in the air. "You know, this is the first time you've actually talked to me for…well, years I think." Percy said, suddenly serious. His gaze met Nico's, but Nico turned away quickly to hide his blush. "Yeah well, I guess I just feel better now that someone knows my dirty little secret." Nico admitted, but left out his much dirtier secret. After a moment of silence, Percy spoke up. "Hey Neeks, if I tell you a secret, do you promise not to freak out?" His eyes were full of worry and his voice shook as he spoke. "As long as you stop calling me Neeks, I promise." Nico said, although he didn't really mind the nickname. Then, as an afterthought, he added: "Unless you killed someone. But I know you didn't because I didn't feel anyone get murdered recently." He was joking, but Percy frowned slightly as he was reminded Nico could literally feel people dying. "Okay well…" Percy started nervously, his hand scratching the back of his neck. "First off, I'm pretty sure I'm gay too. It was just Aphrodite messing with us the entire time. And the boy I can't keep my eyes off…well, Nico, it's you." The silence that ensued filled the clearing, sucking all the air out of Nico's lungs. For a minute he couldn't speak. "Nico I'm sorry! I know you probably don't like me like that and I didn't want to make it awkward I just couldn't hide it anymore!" Percy buried his head in his hands, but Nico just sat up in front of him. More silence and then: "I like you too Perce." Percy's head lifted slowly to see Nico staring at him with wide eyes that were full of fear. Instantly, the older boy pulled him close and let him rest his head against his chest. "Shh it's okay Neeks, don't be scared okay?" The younger boy just sat there in shock at finally admitting the secret he's held onto for seven years, and to the person it's about nonetheless. "Percy…boys aren't supposed to love other boys. It's wrong." As much as he wanted to cry, Nico held back the tears. Not now, not here. "It's not wrong Neeks, things are different now." Percy cooed while softly stroking the other boy's hair, not failing to notice it was getting quite long. Nico just sighed and laughed sadly. "Things will never be different." He pulled away from the embrace and after a second thought, gave the older boy a kiss on the cheek. "Talk to Annabeth. Then come see me tomorrow, alright?" he smiled sadly, and then walked away without looking back. After a minute, Percy got up as well and followed suit. Better get this over with, he thought with a grimace as he walked back through the woods.


	2. Chapter 2

Percy's POV:

After walking back into camp, I realized that it had gotten quite late. Dinner was over and the campers were already huddled by the bonfire. Shoving my hands roughly into my pockets I set off to find Annabeth. She was probably looking for me since I had skipped dinner. Seeing her sitting with her siblings around the fire, I noticed she actually looked pretty happy. I smiled at the thought that she would be okay. Walking up to her, I smiled sadly at her and she returned it. Both of us knew what was coming. Taking her hand, we walked away leaving behind a couple "ooooohs" from the people who probably thought we were going to fool around. We went to my cabin so we wouldn't have to worry about anyone walking in. Sitting on the bed, I turned to face her. "Annabeth…you're my best friend and at one point I loved you as more, but I think we both know that wasn't real." She smiled at me and rubbed the back of my hand. "I understand Percy. It was all a game to the gods. But just tell me…Jason?" Annabeth flashed me a smirk and I just groaned. "Why does everyone think that?" Throwing my hands in the air, I fell dramatically against my bed. "No, not Jason. Nico…" I whispered his name like a prayer, letting it linger on my lips to savor the taste. Suddenly I was pulled into a warm hug. "That's great Percy! He's liked you for seven years, you know." No, I hadn't known that. She pulled away and gave me a stern look. "Just be careful, okay? He's broken, and I don't think he can take anymore. I'm afraid one day he'll just snap." Nodding my head, I reassured her. "It's okay, I know. I want to fix him, and I hope he lets me. I think…I think I love him." Now I was blushing. She just laughed and kissed my forehead. "Well I may have lost a boyfriend, but I gained a gay best friend." She stood up and walked to the door. "Just promise me we'll go shopping sometime, alright?" Winking at me as she left, I just laughed. Collapsing onto my bed, I fell asleep almost instantly with a smile on my face. That night I dreamt, but for once these weren't demigod dreams but normal, hormonal teenage boy dreams. I didn't know which was worse actually.

_I walked up to the door of the Hades cabin, and entered when I saw the door slightly ajar. "Nico?" I called out, but the door shut behind me. Whirling around I saw him leaning against the door, grinning slyly. "Uh…Nico. I came to tell you…well you told me to come back today." My face was heating up so quickly I was sure that the room had suddenly risen in temperature. He beckoned me towards him with one finger, and he looked so sexy in the darkness that I could only comply to his wishes. Stumbling forward, his hand shot out to grab my shirt and push me against the wall, trapping me there with his body pressed tight against mine. "I've wanted you for so long Percy." He growled, and his face was so close to mine that I could feel his hot breath on my lips. Before I knew what was happening, those soft lips were attacking my own fiercely with a lusty kiss, nipping and biting as he went. He pulled away when I moaned his name, chuckling darkly. "Oh Percy, I'm going to show you just how much I love you." My eyes stayed closed but I felt his hands trail down my chest and swiftly undo my belt and jeans. They fell to floor and I was left standing against the wall in my boxers and shirt. Upon opening my eyes I noticed he was kneeling on the ground and staring at me with his wide brown eyes that were dark with lust. He kept my gaze as he removed the final piece of clothing that covered my erection. Stroking it lazily and earning quite a few needy moans from me, my hands wound their way into his hair. "Nico…" I moaned breathlessly, my heart racing. Chuckling once more, his tongue darted out to lap up the drop of precum that dripped out of my slit. "Nico!" I moaned more loudly, tightening my grip in his hair. His lips wrapped around my head and he began to bob back and forth expertly. In no time he was deep throating me and I knew I was close. "Oh fuck….Nico!" I yelled his name as I came quickly in his mouth._

"Nico!" I woke up yelling his name like in the dream, and groaned as I realized my hand, boxers, and chest were covered in a white sticky mess. "Ugh." I groaned again, and got up to take a shower. Stripping out of my soiled clothes, I stepped under the hot water. Thankfully after the war Leo had persuaded Chiron to allow cabins that were more like houses. That included separate rooms that magically appeared when another camper joined a cabin, bathrooms, closets, and specialty rooms in each cabins basement. Mine was a pool, obviously. It would have been super awkward having to explain why I was covered in semen to everyone in the communal bathrooms we used to have. Finally feeling clean, I stepped out, dried off, and slipped on my favorite clothes. This was my Camp half-blood shirt, a pair of faded blue jeans, and my red converse. Nerves now fully jumping around in my stomach, I made my way to the Hades cabin. It didn't help that I couldn't stop thinking this was how my dream started. _Stop it Percy, you can't be hard when you go see him, _I scolded myself mentally. Walking up the steps, a few of the campers straggling to breakfast looked at me weird. I still didn't understand what everyone had against the hot son of Hades. Knocking on the door, my face flushed, I stepped in when it creaked open slightly. Okay, this was too much like my dream. Breaths picking up pace and heart racing to match, I closed the door behind me. "Nico?" I called out hesitantly. There were some noises and cursing from down the hall, but in a few seconds Nico was walking out of what I assumed was the bathroom and into what I now saw was his bedroom. My heart basically stopped when I saw him. His lower half was wrapped in a towel, and that fact combined with his soaked black hair sticking to his face and neck, I assumed he just got out of the shower. In seconds the redness of my face rivaled his. "I didn't expect you to show up this early." He mumbled as he grabbed clothes from the closet. I was too busy drooling over him to say anything. He was skinny, that's for sure, but he also had some muscle definition from battle. And oh my gods he had the V. Still staring as he pulled a pair of boxers on underneath his towel, it got even worse as he dropped the towel. Turning around to see me staring at him, he laughed nervously. "What? You've never been in a guy's locker room before?" He sounded confident enough but his red face showed how awkward and embarrassed he felt. "I…I didn't mean to…wow you're hot." Stupid mouth was always getting me in trouble. Nico blushed an even darker red at my words, and mumbled something he probably thought I couldn't hear. "I look like an emo anorexic skeleton." Shocked at what he couldn't see, I strode over to put my hand on his bare shoulder right as he slipped on some black sweats. It was too much; I couldn't hold back what I was feeling. Leaning in to whisper in his ear, my breath was hot on his skin. "I think you look hot." He stiffened, and I pulled away awkwardly. "I…I'm sorry…" I stuttered out an apology. He just turned around and smirked at me. Oh gods, I know exactly where I'd seen that smirk before. Before I could know what I was doing again, I kissed him. This was so much better in real life than it had been in my dream, and I noted that he tasted like vanilla. Pulling away after just a couple seconds I was already panting. "Annabeth and I broke up." I told him quickly when he looked like he was about to get angry. The anger in his eyes faded to a mischievous glint, and he smirked again. "Well in that case…" He whispered before gripping my shirt and pulling me towards him again, our lips moving in perfect sync. If I had known he would be this eager to reciprocate I would've told him a long time ago. When he felt that I wasn't moving away he let go of my shirt and instead wrapped his hands around my neck, fingers tangling themselves in my hair. I let my own hands move from his waist up his bare back and finally to the nape of his neck, where I let my own fingers work their way into his long, raven hair frantically. Our kisses became needier, and it wasn't long before I had him pinned against the wall. I pulled away for a second to let both of us catch our breath. "You're feisty." I growled, and was about to dive back in for another kiss when I was interrupted by the door flying open beside us. Shocked, neither of us could move as Annabeth stormed in.


	3. Chapter 3

Nico's POV:

We stayed frozen as Annabeth's eyes scanned the room and finally settled where Percy had me comfortably pinned against the wall. Her eyes quickly noticed my shirtless body but then glared at Percy. "Perseus Jackson!" She growled, stalking over and pulling him off of me by the ear. When he uttered a couple "ows!" she just pulled harder. "I knew you would come here this morning, especially when neither of you showed up for breakfast!" Her tone and expression showed how angry she was, but her eyes flashed with triumph. I was still frozen against the wall, confused now more than scared. Annabeth seemed mad but not about the breakup, which is what I had originally assumed was her reason for storming in here. "He's only seventeen! How dare you seduce him like this?" Now she seemed less angry and more amused at the scene. I chuckled a bit, but then she turned to me, dragging Percy around with her. "Oh no, it's your fault too. You shouldn't have been shirtless." Now I gulped, because she was very correct. I knew exactly what it would do if what he had said the other night were true, and I had wanted to test him. Now she pulled Percy over, which was quite funny considering he was much taller and had to bend down slightly to relieve a bit of the pain on his ear. It wasn't funny for long, because soon I was in the same position. Our eyes both widened as she pulled us to the door. "Now you are both coming to breakfast and can have your little 'funny business' later!" Pulling us out the door and to the dining pavilion, I don't think she cared that I still didn't have a shirt on. Everyone stared and meals were forgotten as she threw us down at our respective tables. "Now eat!" She basically yelled at us as she went to sit with her siblings. Now that she was gone, I couldn't help but smirk and glance over at Percy. He was looking at me too, but he seemed much more uncomfortable. I had learned over the years to just say "fuck it" to what everyone thought of me, but Percy had always been the golden boy. He blushed and turned away when I licked my lips slowly at him, making me laugh and return to my empty plate. Campers were still staring at us, mostly me, but I didn't care. Silently asking for a pomegranate, I sacrificed a few seeds to my father and Aphrodite, then ate the rest quickly. Catching Percy's eye on my way out, I winked as I made my way back to my cabin. Oh yes, this was going to be a good day.

Pulling a black muscle shirt on, I tied my long hair back with some of the elastics Hazel had brought me back from the stores in New Rome. They rested on top of my dresser along with the black eyeliner and leather bracelets she had also gotten me. I smiled when I remembered she would be coming back next week; she never failed to bring me a little something every time she visited. Finally feeling ready to face whatever awaited me today, I was about to pull on a pair of black sneakers when I heard a knock on the door. "Come in!" I yelled at whoever it was, forgetting my shoes and sitting up on the bed. The door creaked open and a very sheepish looking Percy walked in. He closed the door behind him and I raised my eyebrows in question, making him blush and start to frantically explain himself. "N-no! I'm not going to do that again, I promise!" He waved his hands in front of him, and then came to sit in a chair in the corner of my room. I cocked my head to the side out of curiosity which made me unknowingly look like a puppy. "Then why did you come?" I asked. "I came to tell you…well you told me to come back today." He smiled awkwardly but something about that sentence seemed to have made him shiver. I just shrugged it off and waved for him to continue. "I really like you Neeks." Now it was my turn to blush and smile nervously. "I really like you too Perce." His face brightened up at that, and he moved to sit on the bed beside me. "So…do you want to go out with me maybe?" He asked hopefully. I chuckled. "Do you mean on a date or in the generalized term of 'dating' as being boyfriend and girlfriend or in this case boyfriend and boyfriend?" I countered slyly. He just huffed and looked at me slightly annoyed with my snarky remarks, but smiling all the same. "Both." He said with confidence, now seeming to feel more comfortable with the situation. I took a moment to pretend to contemplate the offer, before turning back to face him and lean in a bit. "Yes. To both." My voice was quiet but the happiness was evident. Both of us now smiling as wide as physically possible, Percy brought his hands up to cup my cheeks and kissed me softly. I returned the slow, passionate kiss but soon I wanted more. You don't go seven years loving someone and not want everything they have. Pulling away, I heard him whimper as our lips disconnected. Chuckling quietly, I placed a light kiss on his nose. "Percy I don't know what you're ready for." Now my voice was completely serious. "I want you, Nico Di Angelo. I want all of you." He whispered sensually, making me shiver despite how much the temperature of the room had risen in the past few minutes. Or was that just me? "I…I want you too." My voice faltered, and my eyes showed how scared I really was. "I just don't know how much I'd be comfortable with yet." Turning my head away in embarrassment, it was only brought back to face Percy as his hands softly guided my face. My scared eyes locked on to his certain ones. "I understand. It's something very intimate and I get it if you're not ready. And I'm not going to lie and say it won't hurt." This made me blush, because fuck did I know it would hurt. "Perce…I'm not as innocent as you think. I haven't been with anyone before though!" I quickly reassured him as his eyes widened in shock and…jealousy? That was cute. "But…I'm not going to lie and say I don't have fun with myself sometimes." Okay now I was sure that whatever blood wasn't filling up somewhere else was rushed to my cheeks. Seriously though, I was a love-struck seventeen year old gay boy, what else was I supposed to do in my spare time? Percy just sat there, speechless. Finally I knew what to say and a sly grin made its way onto my face. "How about you come back tonight, and we can find out just what I'm comfortable with, yeah?" He just nodded with his mouth agape and let me lead him to the door. "Have fun today Perce." I teased before giving him a quick kiss and shutting the door on a very flustered looking Percy. Laughing to myself, I just shook my head at what that boy was doing to me.


	4. Chapter 4

Percy's POV:

I just stood there for a minute flabbergasted. Did he just imply? I think he did. But what if he didn't! So many thoughts were racing through my horny teenage boy mind that I didn't even realize I had made my way back to my cabin. Stepping over the threshold I realized I still had a little, _ahem, _problem to take care of, and I'll be damned if I didn't after Nico's little display of sensuality. Groaning in sexual frustration, I walked to the bathroom down the hall and shed my clothes as I went. Without even touching a knob the water turned on full blast. Perks of being the Son of Poseidon am I right? I stepped under the hot stream of water and willed myself to get wet. Luckily I didn't have to try too hard to focus on it, because as soon as I began taking care of my arousal all thoughts of control over anything faded away into quiet moans and breathless calls for Nico.

Finishing quicker than I'd expected or would like to admit, I used the last little bit of hot water to wash my hair and body. Stepping out and toweling myself off, I reached for the hair gel on the counter and applied it generously to my damp hair. For once I was actually going to try, but I ended up with just a worse mess than if I'd just let it dry. Sticking my head in the sink with a groan, I washed the sticky substance out as best as I could before drying it again. Now realizing that I probably shouldn't show up looking like I normally do; that is, worn blue jeans and faded tees; I looked through my closet for something to wear. Nothing. Not even a button up shirt. I used to have a red flannel shirt, but that disappeared a couple months back, and it wouldn't be very helpful now anyways. Then an idea popped into my mind and, after getting dressed in my afore mentioned usual outfit, rushed over to the Aphrodite cabin.

Unfortunately it was Drew who answered, and she looked me over with a gaze that I could only describe as hungry. "Well well Percy, broke up with your girlfriend and now you're here for me? I'm flattered, really, but-"

"Actually I'm here for Piper, thank you very much." I said with a hint of a smirk. "And for your information, you're not really my type. Neither is Annabeth, or Piper, or any girl for that matter." I winked and walked past her into the cabin, leaving her fuming from my rejection but also gaping at this new information. At least that would be all over camp by tomorrow and I could get these stupid girls off my back. "Piper!" I called, seeing her honey brown braid tangled with feathers across the room. "Percy?" She asked, looking very confused as to why I was in here. Before she could speak again, I blurted it all out. "I have a kind of sorta date with Nico tonight and I own no good clothes or have any idea on how to impress him. Help?" I stared at her with pleading eyes. She broke out into a wide smile and squealed, grabbing my hand and dragging me into the large room they called a closet.

"Ah, Piper, hold up!" But it was too late, and we were already in too deep. Everyone was looking now. "Okay, so Nico's the dark type but if he likes you than he must like that you're more light and fun, but we also want to play to his interests…" She began pulling clothes out of the closet, and I felt my face flush as her siblings looked on in amusement. "Piper I…I didn't really want people to know yet…" I hissed, trying not to pay attention to the multiple eyes on me. "Oh…sorry Perce." Piper said with an apologetic smile, but she didn't seem to be too upset about it. I sighed and sat down on one of the fluffy chairs. Why the hell were there chairs in their closet?

Two hours and hundreds of outfits later, I knew exactly why there were chairs in here. Every single camper in the cabin decided to help out and that meant a lot of standing up and turning around. Finally they had picked out an outfit that I didn't change into yet, and while I adamantly refused any make-up to cover up my blemishes and scars, I did let them style my hair. It wasn't much, but it was tamed and fluffed up a bit in the front. Then, surprisingly, I realized I had wasted the entire day away and had to rush to my cabin to drop off the new clothes before sprinting to the dining pavilion so I wouldn't miss dinner. To my dismay Nico wasn't there, but that was understandable considering there were almost no people left there. Unfortunately as soon as I made it there, the dryads were clearing plates away and looked at me apologetically.

Sighing in hunger and sadness, because I had missed lunch too, I headed back to my cabin to change. I didn't want to be late for my maybe-date as well so I rushed the dressing process and straightened myself up on the way there. It wasn't much; nice, yet casual. Just some dark blue jeans with a lighter blue button up shirt, which I had rolled the sleeves up on, and a pair of classic converse to top it all off. Between the nice clothes and my hair, I have to admit I was looking pretty good. But that was nothing compared to what Nico was wearing when I got there. Tight black skinny jeans like usual, but these weren't ripped, displayed his perfect ass, well, perfectly. He had on a black button up, also with rolled sleeves, and all black converse. His hair was tied back in a short ponytail and his wrist was even garnished with some black leather bracelets. Dark and mysterious as always…and now even hotter than before. He smiled nervously up at me, (I was proud to admit I was a whole 5 inches taller than him), and rubbed his arm awkwardly. "So…are you ready to go?" He asked, looking like he wasn't sure if he should grab my hand or not. So I made the decision for him and intertwined our fingers. His pale skin was cool against mine, but it felt nice and oddly comforting. "Sure, but go where?" He hadn't mentioned anything earlier. Or had he? I had been a bit too distracted. Giving me a glimpse of earlier, he smirked at me. "You'll find out soon." Was all he said before the shadows from his cabin enveloped us.


End file.
